Publishing True Story - Unread Manuscript

A true story, and one which will dismay any aspiring writers.

A well known writer, and seriously well respected figure within the literary world, was commissioned by a major publisher to write a book. His agent did the usual agenty stuff in negotiating terms, payment and what have you and was also adamant that his office would submit the manuscript on the due date, rather than having it sent direct from the author.

The author sent it off to his agent in good time, and thought little more of it except a vague surprise the publishers had not acknowledged receipt. Some weeks later he received a weary call from the publishers complaining of late delivery.

He enquired of his agent who supposedly had no notion of what had happened, and eventually the unread manuscript was located lying around on some shelf, untouched and unread. Profuse apologies all round and manuscript was duly dispatched about a month late.

This happened to a top writer with a significant career behind him. The agency is one of the best known in the country.

If commissioned manuscripts are not read, what chance yours?! Thankfully not even my agent is that bad, though I actually would not take the chance of submitting a manuscript through their office.

If you are curious about the names behind this story that is the sort of info only available in the newsletter.

Am I bitter and twisted?

Possibly, but personally, and perhaps predictably, I do not think so. At this stage I have had enough reviews and feedback on my writing to know that at the very least it is of a satisfactory and saleable standard. I'm not one of these "I am an undiscovered literary genius" types.

Secondly I could not agree more with the publishing industry's overtly commercial attitudes. Wayne Rooney will sell a few million books? Fine, give him a massive advance, pay a ghostwriter and cash in. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, business is about supply and demand, and in this case HC were supplying a demand.

I do believe that if a writer whines about Wayne Rooney etc, and publishers not being interested in real writing, then the chances are their own writing is pretty crap. If that is the case and it will not sell then it makes no sense for someone to publish it. Simple business sense once again.

Thirdly, I do have sympathy for the gigantic pile of rubbish that agents and publishers receive. I've seen some of it and it is truly horrendous. It is completely understandable that they don't read it, the cost of the time involved makes it completely uneconomical even if there is hidden gem. It's that business acumen again.

But that is my point; the great paradox of publishing is that whilst on one hand they justify, quite sensibly, their decisions on simple business nous, on the other they also try to concoct some sort of mystique about the whole process, and hence there are all sorts of industry protocols, accepted practices and snobbery which is quite frankly a load of nonsense. The industry is thus riddled with self important half-wits, (apart from a few notable exceptions) who, if they were in the business of manufacturing and selling any other product would be found out immediately.

Much more to come on this subject.

Why not use my real name?

My real name? Are you mad? I am as pathetic and sycophantic as anyone else. I follow the "rules" terrified that I might ruffle someone's feathers by making a misplaced phone call and thus they will never speak to me again.

Of course I can't be fired since I gave up the day job, or dooced as it were, but print runs can be compromised, calls unreturned and what have you. This has an obvious effect on my earning potential, so it is probably best to remain private.

The word of traditional publishing is a small one and it would be all too easy to labelled as a troublemaker. That would be a pain, and slightly counterproductive. If I used my real name you would know who my publishers are and more importantly they would know that I have slightly unflattering thoughts about their efforts and abilities. In person they would not have a clue that I think they are anything other than brilliant.

I am sweetness and light when talking with my publishers, nodding in agreement when they explain the difficulties and intricacies of the business. "Of course" I concur, when secretly I'm thinking "Utter bollocks. It's a book, not the cure for cancer." I do this so they like me, the sales force like me, and hopefully by extension the booksellers will like me. I am cooperative, and this requires a certain amount of brown nosing.

Secondly, if I used my real name my agent's identity would be known. And from time to time I am sure to pass comment on my agent's abilities. Since it has got to the stage where you almost need an agent to get an agent I have no desire to fall out with the one I have, no matter what I think privately of their abilities.

Pathetic, I know.

Welcome

Don't give up the day job. Wise advice indeed to any aspiring writer. Of course you'd have to be insane to quit work on the strength of an unpublished manuscript.

But would you give up your regular work if your writing had appeared in broadsheet newspapers, magazines, had a book published by a household name publisher, distributed across the UK, sold thousands of copies and were represented by an A-List agent who blew hot air up your ass telling you good you were?

I did. How very foolish.